I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
