I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
