You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I understand Curling. That high.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
