Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
