i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
