Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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