Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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