HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
