i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
