how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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