needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
