There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
