Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
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