i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
