Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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