Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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