You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
