she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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