i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
