I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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