Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
