What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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