dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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