I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
