I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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