make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
