I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
