I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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