put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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