That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
