so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
