yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I intend to get homeless drunk
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize