Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
