so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
