She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize