seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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