Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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