Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
