I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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