is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
