And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
