Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
