This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize