So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
