I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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