I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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