She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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