sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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