Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
too bad you live with your parents still
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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