I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
