Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
