One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
that may or may not have been my penis.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
