Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
