see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
