What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
