Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Will you blow on my dice?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
