I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
