I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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