fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
