yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
