would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
