I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
