i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize