she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
