You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
