Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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