Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
