Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
They are going to name an STD after you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
