no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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